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Former Curator of Chaos. Current Authority on Composure. Now consulting for anyone standing on The Verge of something regrettable.
Dear Darling,
While the universe reserves the right to absolute chaos, proper social decorum dictates that you decline the invitation to the ensuing Drama.
The considerable difference between chaos and The Drama is that chaos arrives uninvited, while The Drama requires an RSVP. From my vantage point, invitations to The Drama are accepted with alarming enthusiasm.
I have appointed myself the etiquette authority on declining The Drama. Not all Drama is beneath us. Some of it requires direct handling. This is where I exercise discretion, pointing out what merits a reply and what deserves no audience.
The nonsense has been indulged long enough. I intend to name it. Properly, of course.
I’m Serenity. Sardonic by necessity.
A Formal Invitation
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A FEW NOTES ON DRAMATIC DECORUM
Dramatic Decorum is the art of entertaining The Drama without surrendering your judgment to it. The difficulty lies not in recognizing The Drama, but in deciding what, if anything, it is owed. This particular exercise in discretion remains curiously underdeveloped.
Some occasions are best declined entirely. Others require a response. Silence has its uses, but there are moments when it merely clears the stage for someone else's bad behavior. Good manners were never intended to hand the room to whoever behaves worst.
Everyone arrives at The Verge eventually: the moment after The Drama extends its invitation and before you've answered it. For those still undecided at that moment, a few notes are in order.
Proper conduct for when The Drama requests the pleasure of your company.
HAVOC FROM THE HEIGHTS
Somewhere between poor judgment and utterly avoidable consequences, there is a place where every bad decision is flatteringly lit.
It's Golden Hour here. Always. The design is the dilemma. Since the sun never quite sets, tinted lenses are mandatory, and the shade is thrown as a courtesy. The chai, meanwhile, is spilled long before it's poured.
The residents of Havoc Heights never miss an occasion, particularly the ones they create. I refer to them as the Darlings because watching them frolic in The Drama inspires a particular affection usually reserved for the spectacularly misguided. You know them. The question is which one you'll claim you don't.
Frequently Sighted Causing Havoc
Delulu Delilah
Sees signs. Ignores facts. Always arrives at the happiest conclusion.
Meltdown Maya
Hasn't met an inconvenience she couldn't turn into theater.
Clingy Cleo
Checks your location more often than you check the time.
Loose-Lipped Lola
Your secret is safe with her for roughly two minutes, give or take.
There are more. Naturally.
I've collected their stories, warning labels included. The collection grows whenever one of them has an idea.
Solicit My Opinion
How refreshing. Someone asking before making matters considerably worse. Tell me what happened and what you’re tempted to do next. Selected letters receive my opinion in Solicited Etiquette, featured in Dear Darling, my subscriber-only newsletter.
